When you work with a student, you inevitably build a relationship with them. Usually, it starts out somewhat distant, with the student bringing a fair amount of anxiety into the studio regardless of how hard you may try to relieve their performance stress. Of course, each student is different, and not everyone becomes nervous playing for their teacher. However, when the relationship is no longer beneficial to the student, he or she should feel free to discuss this with their instructor and expect them to understand.
All too often, concern on the part of the student that they will hurt the teacher’s feelings by being honest with them limits their willingness to end a working relationship. When the student is a child, sometimes they don’t realize that they even have the option of speaking up and letting a parent know that they are no longer enjoying their lessons because they don’t get along with the teacher. It can also be the case that children simply do not realize that changing to another instructor is even a possibility. If they don’t like their teacher at school, they have no recourse other than to tough out the year and hope for better luck next time.
If the student is an adult, I think it can be easier to arrive at the decision to switch, however some folks go to great lengths in order to avoid the unpleasantness of seeing your former instructor as you are going into your lesson with a new person. It’s kind of like running into your ex at the bar with your date. You feel guilty, and perhaps as though you have hurt their feelings.
While this careful consideration of our emotions as teachers is certainly appreciated, this is not how you would approach other business relationships. Admittedly, the music student/teacher counterpoint is far more personal than perhaps your interaction with your dry cleaner. You spend time each week working to perfect assignments to please a person of expertise, and are hoping for encouragement with a personal goal or dream. However, if your dry cleaner wasn’t performing up to your expectations, you would be looking around for a new place to get your shirts pressed, and you wouldn’t think twice about how it might make them feel.
I guess I say all of this to impart that any teacher worth his or her salt would want to know whether you are feeling fulfilled in your quest to learn. If not, we should be attempting to better accommodate your needs. The ultimate goal is for you to be satisfied with your progress. If we are disappointed with your decision to go elsewhere, it should be with our inability to meet your needs, not with you as a person. If we know that we are not able to teach you what you want to know, we should have the wherewithal to tell you as much.



