Cathy Miller

There are so many ways that you can manage to undermine your own ability to succeed. You can create an impossible situation for success to exist, like ensuring that you never have enough time to devote to your goal. With this tactic, you end up talking about how much you want to achieve your dreams, but never actually take the time required to work towards its achievement. There is always something in the way or more important, but deep down you know that if it was something you really and truly wanted to do, that you could/would be doing it.

There is also the method of piling your plate so high with goals that you could never achieve them all regardless of how much time you spend.  In this case, you are taking the time and pushing towards completion, but guaranteeing that there is no way you could ever consider yourself a success.

And thirdly, and by no means lastly, you can talk yourself out of any success by making sure that you are never fully convinced that you can achieve it or that you deserve it, even when the evidence in right in front of you that you can and do. This is a challenging condition, one that  pushes you to continually strive for excellence, but never believe that it is or can ever be achieved. This is a guilty pleasure — allowing yourself to let those little voices that niggle away at your sense of self dominate and control your perceptions. It’s a gluttonous way to live, always feeling like your achievements are never enough, as if the food you eat can never satisfy. And ultimately, you know that it’s not correct. You know that you are better than you will allow yourself to admit, but you find comfort in the cloak of perceived mediocrity. It allows you to work hard without having the dread ego in the way, telling you that you are in fact, good enough. It’s a very Puritan approach that does nothing for your sense of self worth, and can be highly detrimental to your relationship with yourself and with others.  It’s an indulgence that simply can no longer be afforded.

Regardless of your goals, and more importantly, regardless of your level of accomplishment, be honest with yourself. There is nothing wrong with being good at what you want to do — and more to the point, there is noting wrong with enjoying your success. Revel in it while you are doing it — don’t hold back, and bring on the heat and burn it up! Enjoy every chance you are afforded to be amazing.